Is God Disappointed in Me? 5 Reasons He's Not
- Cheryl Balcom
- 4 days ago
- 7 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
My friend asked me with tears in her eyes, “But don’t you think God is disappointed in me?” She had just shared the ways she felt like she was failing in her faith walk, all of the things that weren’t getting checked off on her spiritual to-do list.
For those of us who live in Performanceville, this is a common question, and I have asked it myself. Disappointment is a recurring feeling for perfectionists. We tend to hold high expectations of ourselves and others, and we feel let down when they aren’t met. We can get stuck on our failures and be critical of those around us.
Though we long to love God and love others, it’s easy to get caught up in the question of whether we’re doing enough or doing it well.
To clarify, God is grieved when we sin against him. But there is forgiveness for sin when we confess and repent (1 John 1:9). However, some of us tend to set expectations for ourselves and then prioritize them as necessary for God's approval. When we fail to meet those expectations day after day, it can make us wonder, "Is God disappointed in me?"
Some days, it seems like we fail in every area: we miss our morning quiet time, we fall asleep praying, we have an unkind thought toward someone. Or, we haven’t had a devotional time in months, we catch ourselves snapping back at our loved ones, or we have days—even Sundays—when we just can’t get out of bed.
When these things happen, are we disappointing God? Is he looking down on us with his arms crossed, shaking his head, or rolling his eyes?
With a hug, I reassured my friend that she is loved by God, not looked down upon in condemnation or frustration. I reminded her that Jesus has already met God’s high and holy standard for us. If you have ever felt like my friend did that night, like I have felt many times, I hope these words will be a warm embrace of grace.
5 Reasons We Can Trust that God is not Disappointed in Us
1-God does not depend on us
The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything (Acts 17:24-25).
God doesn’t look upon us the same way we may look upon others. He is not a taskmaster with a clipboard and a whistle! He is completely self-sufficient; his glory does not depend on us or what we do. He doesn’t need us to perform to benefit him in any way.
In her book, None Like Him, Jen Wilkin writes: “He who has no origin is the origin of life for all; He is completely self-sufficient. The uncreated Creator. He is our origin, but he is separate from us … This is actually the best news we could hear, because if God needed us in any way, we would most certainly let him down. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. Even the most consistent among us drops the ball more than we would like to admit. Praise God that his plans do not rely on my faithfulness, his joy doesn’t hinge on my good behavior, his glory doesn’t depend on my performance. He is unruffled and unharmed by my inconsistency. He is pleased to be glorified either through me or in spite of me, but he does not need me in the least.” 1
Though he does not need us, it’s an astonishing, glorious gift that he longs for fellowship with us, draws us to himself, and calls us his children.
2-God is love, and he does not change
1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. Hebrews 13:8 tells us that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. This means that if God never changes, then his love for us will never change. We can rest in God’s steadfast love that endures, whether we’re listless, stressed, frumpy, or frustrated. Neither our actions nor our feelings can change his character.
Ephesians 2:1-10 is a refreshing reminder of how “no one can boast,” because we have been saved by grace, not by anything we have done or will do. And this grace is wrapped up in his love that is steadfast and immovable.
Faith Chang puts it this way: “[God] shows favor to the undeserving. He doesn’t easily get angry. He forgives transgressions. All these are descriptions of God’s love for sinners. Those who are perfect do not need mercy. It’s sinners who need grace, patience, and forgiveness—sinners who are recipients of his steadfast love.” 2
3-By grace, Jesus has met God’s requirements for us
When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, he made you alive together with him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and he has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross (Colossians 2:13-14).
God’s wrath against sin has been satisfied; there is no lingering disappointment because “It is finished.” Through his son, God accomplished the work necessary to cleanse us from sin and make us righteous. Nothing we do today or tomorrow will change that.
Do you ever get caught up in “shoulds”? As in “I should be … I need to … I ought to …” Another friend of mine recently said, “When I find myself thinking, ‘I’ve gotta …' that’s when I know I’m relying on myself rather than on God.” Thoughts like these are clues that we’ve forgotten about grace.
I love the verses in John chapter 6, where the crowds ask Jesus, “What must we do to be doing the works of God?” He answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent” (John 6:28-29).
Do you believe in Jesus? Then you are doing enough.
4-God is patient while he sanctifies us
“Sanctification” is a translation of the Greek word hagiasmos, meaning “holiness” or “a separation.” In the past, God granted us justification, a once-for-all, positional holiness in Christ. In the present, God guides us to maturity, a practical, progressive holiness. 3 Each one of us is in the process of being conformed to the image of his son, a process that leads to glory!
Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).
Read that Scripture again—who keeps us blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ? It’s not us.
So when God sees us lying in bed, struggling to face the day, I don’t believe he is groaning in disbelief, saying, “Not again!” I believe he looks on us with love and prompts us with his Holy Spirit to join him and rejoice in the day he has made (Psalm 118:24).) He knows this is just one day of all the days ordained for us (Psalm 139:16) and he readies his mercies anew for each one (Lamentations 3:22-23). He has called us his children, and that is what we are—forever (1 John 3:1). And since lying goes against his character (Numbers 23:19; Titus 1:2), that truth won’t change based on whether or not we get out of bed.
5-We are weak, but he is strong
Jesus walked the earth to fulfill God’s will, and because he was fully human, he understands the influence of the world, the flesh, and the devil. He knows what we experience every day; he knows that even our best intentions are wrapped in a fleshly coat and live in a broken world. Yet he has compassion on us and extends great grace. He experienced every temptation we face (Hebrews 4:14-16), and because he was sinless, his sacrifice in our place is enough (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Likewise, our failings and inadequacies that seem so glaring to us are no surprise to the Lord. He is omniscient, knowing and seeing all, and omnipresent, everywhere with us. Jesus came to free us from sin and from thinking we are responsible for our own rescue. Because he is sufficient, when we are weak, he is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9).
A helpful Scripture I have recently memorized is this: “For by one offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified” (Hebrews 10:14). We are all in a process that leads to perfection, but we’re not going to see perfection here on earth. Therefore, we walk in grace, trusting in Jesus’ sacrifice to be enough (Hebrews 10:10). And God is definitely not disappointed by that; on the contrary, he is well pleased.
“There is tremendous relief in knowing that [God’s] love to me is utterly realistic, based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery can now disillusion him about me, in the way that I am so often disillusioned about myself, and quench his determination to bless me.” – J.I. Packer
Scripture Tells Us What God Thinks of Us
Here are some reminders of what God really thinks about you. You may want to copy them down and post them where you can see them throughout your day:
He rejoices over you with gladness, he quiets you with his love, he exults over you with singing (Zeph 3:17)
He saved you, not because of the righteous things you’ve done, but because of his mercy (Titus 3:4-5)
You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
He has redeemed you; He has called you by name, you are his (Isaiah 43:1)
His grace is sufficient for you, for his power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9)
You now live life by faith in the Son of God, who loved you and gave himself for you (Galatians 2:20)
For freedom Christ has set you free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1)
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are (1 John 3:1)
As we walk this road of progressive sanctification, we can get bogged down by our missteps and failures, but many of the things that we beat ourselves up for are not salvation issues. Remember, “It is finished.” God is not disappointed in you because Jesus paid it all.
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.
To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.
But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.
- Tim Keller
1 Jen Wilkin. None Like Him (Wheaton: Crossway, 2016), p. 45-45; 60.
2 Faith Chang. Peace Over Perfection (The Good Book Company, 2024), p. 134.
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